Do you wake in the dark hours with random—or not-so-random—anxieties that seem overgrown by morning? Maybe you didn’t turn off the instant pot and you fear your morning rice is a desiccated mess. The oil light flashed in your car earlier; is your engine toast? Perhaps it’s global worry: The planet may desiccate like the overdone rice, or you’re concerned about the world you’re leaving your grandchildren.
We’ve all done it, even if we know worry doesn’t help. Worries, by their nature, are often outsized. And the more we worry, the more our brain learns to worry. It’s not that any particular problem is not serious or in need of attention. But anxiety—while a healthy signal of what may deserve our focus—can in excess be harmful to problem-solving and health.
Multiple skills and strategies lessen worry and anxiety—mindfulness, medication, meditation, therapy, social connection, to name a few. But a little-known and underused skill is “worry time,” and you can make it work for you. Worry time is evidence-based: In chronic worriers, it decreases insomnia, anxiety, and negative feelings. Here’s how to use it:
- Schedule 20 minutes at the same time and place each day for two weeks to start. Studies typically use 30-minute chunks for worry time, but less is effective, and an easier lift. If you need additional time, you can increase it later. Time and place need to be consistent so your brain starts to associate worry with that 20-minute time and place.
- Avoid scheduling worry time a few hours before bedtime, or in bed, to prevent interference with sleep.
- Keep a paper/pen or note app handy during the day. Any time you notice a worry, write it down. At first, worries can run away from you. You may not notice that you were stressed about your child’s school problems or that flat tire bill until hours later. But when worry time is built into your schedule, you’ll begin to become mindful of worry in real-time. This alone can lessen anxiety.
- After you jot down a particular worry, tell yourself you’ll worry about that during worry time. Then, move on to something else.
- If you like, give an anxiety score of 1 to 10 to any worry: 1 means you’re relaxed at the beach without a care (you wouldn’t be writing it down for worry time!), and 10 indicates the worst anxiety or panic you can imagine.
- When it’s worry time, go to your designated place and consider each worry on your list in turn for as long as you like. Worry away! You can problem solve, write about your worry, paint, draw, doodle, or gaze off into the dust motes. Simply try to focus on your written worries. If you become distracted, gently bring yourself back to your list.
- If you offered an anxiety score to a worry item, feel free to give it another score during worry time. You may find worries—like the waking-up-in-the-night-burnt-rice-terror—aren’t quite as worrisome anymore. The score magically decreases with time and perspective. Interesting, isn’t it?
- Be consistent. Just two weeks of worry time can significantly lower generalized worry and anxiety. Continue to use it as much as you need; you’ll know what works best for you.
Worry time trains your brain to worry less—less frequently and less total minutes (or hours). By decreasing—sometimes vastly—the amount of time you spend worrying during the day, you learn to associate one specific time and place for worry and problem-solving. The rest of your day feels lighter, less overwhelming, and more positive. You’ll find solutions to problems you can control during worry time while learning to let go of what you can’t control, and moving on. Enjoy your less-worried future!