A few years ago, I was on my way to lead a seminar. When I went to park my car, the lot was closed. Behind schedule, I finally found another parking area. Then, reaching for my wallet to pay, I realized that I’d forgotten it and had no funds. Seeing no other choice, I planned to return home, knowing I’d likely be late for my presentation.
Leaving the parking lot, I spotted a woman walking whom I didn’t know. Without thinking, I stopped my car and exclaimed, “I know you’ll think I sound crazy, but…” She listened as I detailed my situation, and asked if she would be willing to lend me $30.00. She simply reached into her wallet, shared the funds, and we exchanged information.
I expressed my gratitude and continue to feel grateful to this kind woman and her random act of trust and compassion. There are many kind people in the world, and she is one of them, exemplifying the term “random acts of kindness.” And, yes, I sent her reimbursement the very next day.
Kindness, one of 24 character strengths common to humanity, involves generosity, compassion, nurturance, and doing for others. According to Ryan Niemiec, Ph.D., a leading authority on the science and practice of character strengths, kindness is closely aligned with social intelligence and love (Niemiec, 2018). Other character strengths that correlate highly with kindness are teamwork, gratitude, leadership, and fairness.
Kindness is good for us in many ways. Research shows a close association between kindness and happiness in everyday life (Otake, Shimai, Tanaka-Matsumi, Otsui, & Fredrickson, 2006). The strength of kindness has been linked with overall physical and mental well-being/health, greater subjective happiness, and longevity (Niemiec, 2018; Peterson & Seligman, 2004, 2006). Kindness toward ourselves and others can help buffer us from the negative effects of life’s stresses and traumas.
I’ll bet most of you have been involved in acts of kindness, large and small. Perhaps you haven’t stopped to think about your generous, compassionate behaviors—actions can speak louder than words. When you demonstrate kindness, not only are you helping others but you also can be a role model for young people who may observe and choose to follow suit with other acts of kindness.
There are many ways to be kind. In his book Character Strengths Interventions, Niemiec suggests tracking your kind acts on a daily basis by simply counting them or writing them down, while a study by Otake et al. invited participants to keep track of every kind act they engaged in for a week (Niemiec, 2018; Otake et al., 2006).
Here are a few ideas to inspire your own kind actions:
- Offering to help in the kitchen or with other household chores.
- Being among the first to welcome a new co-worker or someone attending your organization for the first time.
- Bringing food to someone who is feeling unwell.
- Sending a kind text or letter to a family member or friend.
- Opening the door or holding the elevator for someone pushing a stroller or anyone who might benefit.
- Visiting someone in the hospital, rehab, nursing home, or recovering from an illness at home,
- Paying for the person behind you in line at a store.
- Listening with understanding and letting someone know you’re trying to understand.
- Being patient when someone is doing something slowly or not meeting your expectations.
- Putting an inspirational note in your child’s or partner’s lunch bag.
- Walking a friend’s dog when they can’t get outside.
- Shoveling your neighbor’s front walk when it snows.
- Sending an inspirational quote to a friend.
- Telling someone you love that you love them.
- Giving your seat to someone on a plane or bus so they can sit more comfortably.
- Volunteering at a food pantry or other local organization.
- Taking someone out for a meal.
- Donating to an organization you care about.
- Helping an older neighbor carry groceries or a heavy item into their home.
- Being patient with yourself when you don’t meet your self-expectations.
How might you offer a gesture of kindness this week?
© 2025 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.