Experiencing a single traumatic event can impact how you see the world and how you view yourself. However, if you have survived complex relational trauma, your confidence may have been shattered, and your sense of self-worth may have been significantly impacted, leaving you feeling powerless, helpless, and unworthy of love or support.
When you live with the effects of chronic relational trauma, a common outcome is developing complex posttraumatic stress disorder (cPTSD). It can be deeply challenging living with cPTSD, and it often leaves lasting emotional scars. What makes living with cPTSD so difficult is how it can obscure the way in which you interact with others and how you navigate your environment.
One of the most profound effects of cPTSD on your self-worth is the way it distorts how you see yourself. Living with cPTSD can cause you to experience deep shame that impacts any positive feelings or beliefs you may hold about yourself. Rather than feeling disconnected from your sense of self-identity as commonly seen in borderline personality disorder (BPD), cPTSD can make you feel that who you are is fundamentally flawed. This distorted view of how you see yourself can negatively impact your personal growth, your ability to form or maintain healthy and secure relationships, and your overall sense of happiness.
Here are five ways having low self-worth can impact key areas within your life:
1. Personal Relationships
Living with a low sense of self-worth has many detrimental effects on a person’s relationships, with one of the most profound effects being the tendency to self-sabotage. If you are living with cPTSD, you may wrongly believe you are unworthy of safety, love, or acceptance, which places you at risk of pushing others away out of self-preservation. Pushing away is not based on a fear of abandonment or rejection as seen in BPD, but rather to avoid the emotional turmoil from complex relational trauma that has left you feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood in relationships. Yet, while you may be trying to protect yourself from further pain, the outcome is that your relationships likely suffer.
2. Physical and Emotional Health
Physical health is often negatively impacted by low self-worth because a person may feel unworthy of seeking support from a doctor or maintaining their physical health. This can place you at increased risk for a weakened immune system, which can make you more vulnerable to developing an illness or disease. Similarly, your emotional health is often compromised from living with low self-worth, which can include developing anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. Physical or emotional health issues can reinforce negative self-beliefs that you are “broken” or “unworthy” of good physical health or emotional happiness.
3. Professional Life/Career
Living with cPTSD may make it more difficult for you to assert yourself in the workplace as a valued and capable employee, which can lead to being overlooked for a promotion, staying “stuck” in a menial job, having difficulty in asking for a raise, or even being unable to stand up for yourself against a narcissistic or toxic boss. Because people living with cPTSD often hold negative beliefs about themselves as being unworthy of success or achieving their goals, they may underperform or refuse to be a team player, leaving them more susceptible to feeling alienated at work. If they do excel at their job performance, many may feel the negative effects of imposter syndrome, as if they are unworthy of the praise or success they are receiving.
4. Self-Care and Daily Functioning
Many living with low self-worth may wrongly believe they are unworthy of taking care of themselves and can neglect their physical or emotional needs. This may include maintaining a poor diet, substance abuse or addiction, or a lack of consistent physical exercise. Other issues that can surround low self-worth that impact daily functioning may include feeling overwhelmed by simple hygiene or chores due to traumatic stress. For example, some may have difficulty making their bed, straightening up their home, or even keeping a consistent daily schedule.
5. Boundaries
Healthy and consistent boundaries are about knowing what you need and feeling comfortable and confident enough to express your needs to others to maintain your personal space and sense of security. However, for a person experiencing low self-worth from living with cPTSD, boundaries may be excessively rigid or inconsistent and easily violated. For example, on one hand, some may have extremely rigid boundaries to help them feel safe, often at the expense of being able to build or maintain connection with others. On the other hand, some people may feel taken advantage of for not being able to assert their needs, which can leave them experiencing increased stress or other mental health issues.
Coping and Healing
Healing from low self-worth that is rooted in cPTSD can be a slow process. It is important that you show yourself compassion and patience throughout your healing. A necessary step involves recognizing and acknowledging how complex relational trauma has impacted your sense of self-worth, including patterns you notice. It is also important to re-establish a sense of self-trust as you begin rebuilding your sense of worth. Additionally, it is critical to learn how to challenge internalized negative misbeliefs and replace them with more adaptive ways of relating to others and yourself. Seeking professional support with a psychologist who specializes in complex trauma recovery is also strongly recommended. You should also take into consideration that your situation and lived experiences are unique to you and that healing requires that you go at your own pace.