It is a rite of passage in the working world to suffer under a bad boss. Most of us have had many, and my hope for anyone entering the workforce is that you only get one or two.
As your career progresses, you will experience the yeller, the micromanager, the absentee, the inappropriate, the blamer, and many more. They come in all shapes and sizes, and each is unique in how they make day-to-day work miserable for the people who work for them.
In most cases, the best solution to having a bad boss is to find a new one, either within your company or somewhere else. We know that most people, more than 80 percent, would consider quitting because of a bad manager.1 But before you look for that new role, or if you happen to be one of the unlucky who is stuck for a while, I would challenge you to try these four exercises to turn that bad boss into a good learning experience.
Exercise 1: Learn What Not to Do
This is as simple as it sounds. Let this leader be a lesson in what you don’t want to do when you become a leader and what to look for in future bosses when you consider joining a team or an organization. This is not just throwing a label on the behavior and calling it a day; it is looking at what drives it and beginning to understand what to look for that signals it.
If your boss is a micromanager, they probably have a lack of trust and an inability to delegate. Begin to think about yourself and what you can do to make sure you do not display those traits as you become a manager. Think about what you might ask in your next job interview to identify the working style of your soon-to-be boss and whether they will provide you with what you need to be successful.
Exercise 2: Observe Your Coworkers
The second lesson is harder than the first. Take time to observe how this undesirable trait is reflected across your coworkers. See how they react to it, what they say, the expressions on their faces, and the actions they take. The reason for this is to identify it in the future when you are taking those same actions.
We all try our best to be good leaders, but we will all have days when we fall short. It is important to be able to recognize that, to see when you are not trusting your team, not giving them the ability to take on stretch assignments, and may yourself be falling into some of those same traps. Better to have a few days of micromanagement, then identify it and address it, than be blind to the signs and lose great colleagues after it becomes too late.
Exercise 3: Observe Yourself
Management is a two-way street. Hopefully, you have a wonderful manager who meets you where you are and helps to nourish, challenge, and develop you, but not all managers can or want to do that. It is important to realize that you also must be flexible and adapt with each new manager.
Consider how any of us act when we are angry. Observe how you interact with your manager, what they are looking for from you, and how the same relationship plays out with other members of your team. Often there are small adjustments you can make to improve the relationship with a manager, gain more trust, and move toward the positive. Adapting your style of working, the information you present, or the tone and quality of your work is not the same as giving in to a bad manager. Sometimes it is the step you need to grow and develop and turn around a relationship, especially in a role, team, or company that you otherwise enjoy.
Exercise 4: Identify the Positive
Everyone is good at something, and you can learn from that. While your manager may yell or be absent, they got to their role by succeeding somewhere along the way. Take time to look at what that trait is and learn from it. You don’t need to have a great working relationship with someone to watch and learn how they sell, navigate a room, or position their team for success. Some of the greatest lessons I have learned are from leaders who don’t even know they taught me. It was done through observing what made them successful and adding those tools to my own.
While I would never tell anyone to stay in an organization that does not value them or actively work to help them develop and grow, I challenge every person currently working under a bad boss to first see what they can learn. It can take months to find a new job. Instead of losing that time being frustrated, take direct action: Document what you see and learn, and leverage your bad boss to make you a better colleague for the next organization you join and the next team you lead.