Men’s Mental Health Month is the perfect time to remember that financial stress is more than just numbers. It can also weigh heavily on men’s emotional well-being.
A recent survey commissioned by Beyond Finance polled men across the country to better understand how they feel about their mental and financial well-being. The results were striking: Only 27 percent of men rated their mental health as “excellent,” with only 15 percent of men selecting an “excellent” rating for their financial health. Many respondents said they felt anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck when it came to their finances.
The link between financial strain and emotional health is well-established. But for men, unspoken cultural expectations often make that stress harder to talk about.
The “Provider” Pressure and the Shame of Falling Short
Many men still carry the internal narrative that their value is tied to financial success. Despite shifting gender roles and household dynamics, the expectation to “have it all together” financially hasn’t disappeared. Men may no longer be the sole breadwinners in every home, but the pressure to provide remains deeply internalized.
When men can’t meet these expectations, shame often takes hold, and with shame, secrecy frequently follows. In fact, men are more likely than women to commit financial infidelity—hiding debts, purchases, or financial decisions from their partners. Shame convinces men they’re alone, which can lead to secret-keeping and isolation.
Emotional Isolation Starts Early
Why is it so hard for men to open up about money? Part of the answer lies in how boys are raised. Research shows that from an early age, boys are exposed to fewer emotional words than girls. Because they’re discouraged from expressing vulnerability while young, as adults, many men lack the emotional vocabulary to identify what they’re feeling, let alone talk about it.
When financial stress hits, men may not know how to process it due to that lack of emotional language.
These issues can also be generational. Adult men today were raised by parents who generally didn’t talk about emotions, financial stress, or mental health. That cultural conditioning doesn’t vanish overnight. Even among younger generations who are generally more comfortable discussing mental health, money often remains a taboo topic. Because others aren’t talking about it, individual men may feel like they’re the only ones struggling financially, and that belief only deepens the shame.
Moving Forward With Vulnerability
The solution to the mental and financial health crisis starts with making space for emotional vulnerability.
Here are my tips for men who want to stop struggling in silence and start making empowered financial decisions:
- Ask key questions of yourself and others. In your relationships, talk about the money messages you both grew up with. What were you taught about what it means to be a man and a provider? Are those beliefs helping or hurting you today? What beliefs or philosophies would be more productive?
- Name your inner dialogue. When you’re feeling financial stress, try to name the emotion. Is it fear? Shame? Hopelessness? Putting language to those feelings is the first step in managing them.
- Challenge secrecy. If you’ve been keeping financial struggles to yourself, ask if shame might be fueling that secrecy. Give yourself permission to seek the connection and/or resources you need to move forward.
We’ve come a long way in destigmatizing mental health, but the same progress hasn’t happened around financial health, and that needs to change. Financial stress isn’t a personal failure; it’s a widespread, deeply relatable experience that deserves empathy. This June, for Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s embrace a version of strength that involves speaking up, seeking support, and showing others they don’t have to carry the weight of financial stress alone.