For many people, suicide is against their religion, or against their culture, or contrary to their personal values. For others, the stigma is so strong that they deny or try to hide a suicide. Either way, talking about suicide is avoided.
Some people believe that individuals who want to die should be allowed to do so. If they feel that their life no longer has meaning, that they are tired and worn out, or that they are a burden to others, they should be able to let go with society’s blessing, or at least without any interference.
Overriding everything is the fact that suicide is so alien to most people—after all, the goal is to live longer, not shorter—that they believe it’s impossible to dissuade someone who is intent on dying. This is a product of our Western culture, which emphasizes rational thought. We assume that all human behavior, including suicide, is rational, even though sometimes it’s not. Some people are more likely to develop a mental illness than others, but all of us—regardless of age, gender, race, culture, religion, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status—have the potential to kill ourselves if our life spins out of control. This is what makes suicide so terrifying, that the sudden death of a loved one, a financial crisis, the end of a relationship, or myriad other calamities can change one’s outlook in a second. As a society, we are afraid to acknowledge this, however, so instead we assume that suicidal people are different. We distance ourselves from them in order to protect us from a reality that we don’t want to confront, much less accept.
Given this, it’s understandable why suicide isn’t talked about and why the usual compassion that people show others isn’t there with suicide. The prevailing sentiment is: Why bother? Why invest time, energy, and resources in preventing people from doing something that seems unpreventable? In the United States today, with industry and technology all around us, with freeway overpasses, railroad crossings, and subway tracks everywhere on which to throw oneself, with an abundance of firearms that can be purchased virtually anywhere, with over-the-counter drugs sold in bulk at thousands of places for quick and easy consumption, it’s easier to take your life now than ever before. Why not just let people do it? It’s legal, after all. Allow the rest of us time to turn our heads so we don’t have to look, and you can make a permanent exit.
The answer, quite simply, according to those who know, who have lost a loved one to suicide, is that if it was your son or daughter, sibling, parent, spouse, partner, or friend who was holding a loaded gun, stepping into a noose, or climbing over the railing of a tall bridge, you would want them to be saved. If you were there, and there was no physical reason for them to want to die, you would try desperately to talk them out of it. If you knew that your loved one planned to end his or her life, you would do anything to stop the attempt. Wouldn’t you?
Until we acknowledge a problem, we can’t begin to address it. Talking about suicide, as painful as that might be, is the first step in solving it.
If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.