There is no singular “right way” to parent; happy, healthy, and well-rounded children can be raised in many different ways. That said, there are parenting styles that should be avoided at all costs, as some of them can have profoundly negative consequences on children.
While these styles may be adopted with good intentions or as a result of one’s own challenging circumstances, their impact can be far-reaching.
Here are three of the most dangerous parenting styles, according to psychological research—including what they look like in practice and the potential harm they can cause.
1. Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting, according to research from the Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, is characterized by low warmth and high behavioral control. It represents a style of parenting that is highly rigid; it values strict adherence to rules, without the buffer of affection and nurturing. This approach often places a heavy emphasis on obedience and discipline, with little room for dialogue or compromise.
In simpler terms, authoritarian parenting is all about enforcing rules without explanation or flexibility. It creates households where rules are followed for the sake of being rules—with little to no consideration for the child’s perspective.
Picture a parent who enforces a strict curfew with no exceptions, even if their teenager was staying late at school to work on a group project. The reasoning is irrelevant; the curfew is non-negotiable. The child’s voice is not part of the equation, and any dissent is often met with harsh consequences—like grounding or a loss of privileges.
Authoritarian parenting can stifle a child’s emotional, social, and academic development in numerous ways, according to research from the World Journal of Social Sciences. Children in these environments may grow up feeling that their opinions and emotions don’t matter. Consequently, their self-esteem will dwindle, and they may notice difficulties in asserting themselves later in life.
Moreover, the lack of warmth and affection can create emotional distance between the parent and child. This detachment can hinder the development of relationship security, which is essential for building healthy relationships in adulthood.
Children raised in authoritarian households might also internalize a fear of failure, as they’ll likely learn to associate mistakes with punishment, rather than growth. As a result, they may become overly anxious and perfectionistic or, in severe cases, highly rebellious, as they may attempt to reclaim autonomy at all costs.
2. “Laissez-Faire” Parenting
According to research from Group Dynamics, “laissez-faire” parenting—also known as permissive parenting—is characterized by warmth and nurturing, but minimal expectations.
Meaning “allow to do” in French and implying that children should simply do as they please, these parents impose few rules and take on a friend-like role. In turn, children are allowed significant amounts of independence and often avoid discipline. While communication is often open, this style lacks the structure and boundaries children need to thrive.
While permissive parenting may seem wholesome and loving on the surface, it often results in a lack of guidance and accountability. Imagine a parent who never enforces bedtime, instead allowing their child to stay up as late as they want—even on school nights.
While this may result in short-term harmony, the child will eventually end up sleep-deprived and unable to focus in class. Over time, they may even start struggling academically. The parent’s reasoning might be that they don’t want to stifle their child’s freedom or create conflict, but the absence of boundaries ultimately leaves the child floundering.
Laissez-faire parents are also prone to overlooking poor behavior. Consider, for instance, a child throwing a tantrum in a store. Instead of addressing the behavior with a firm but understanding approach, the parent might offer a toy or candy to placate the child. Over time, this teaches the child that there aren’t really any consequences for their actions. As these children grow up, they will struggle immensely to develop self-discipline.
Without clear boundaries or guidance, children of permissive parents often struggle to differentiate between right and wrong. This lack of structure forces them to learn many lessons the hard way, and unnecessary risks and mistakes may become the norm.
Additionally, these children may develop a sense of entitlement, according to a 2016 study. These children turn into teens and young adults who expect the world to accommodate them just as much as their permissive parents did.
In turn, they might also find it challenging to adapt to environments that demand discipline and responsibility, such as school or the workplace. Over time, the absence of accountability can erode their ability to adapt to the realities of life—let alone to succeed.
3. Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved parenting, according to a 2018 study from the Journal of Child and Family Studies, grants children a high degree of freedom, but with minimal involvement or support. These parents fulfill their child’s basic needs—food, shelter, and clothing—but remain emotionally detached and disengaged. They communicate infrequently, provide little nurturing, and impose few (if any) expectations.
Uninvolved parenting often resembles neglect, albeit unintentionally in most cases. Picture a parent who works long hours and—while they do ensure their child has food in the fridge and a roof over their head—rarely engages with them on a personal level.
The child might come home to an empty house, prepare their own dinner, and spend the evening alone in front of the TV or on their phone. While the parent might justify their absence by pointing to their provision of necessities, the lack of emotional connection will leave a hefty void in the child’s life.
This parenting style can also exacerbate a child’s loneliness. For instance, consider a parent who avoids attending parent-teacher conferences or school events; they leave their child to navigate their education, as well as many other aspects of their lives, entirely on their own. When the child struggles with homework or faces bullying at school, the uninvolved parent may be oblivious or dismissive—which only further compounds the child’s sense of isolation.
Later in life, they will likely struggle to form trusting relationships. Moreover, without proper guidance, they may engage in risky behaviors, struggle academically, and fail to develop essential life skills.
The harm caused by uninvolved parenting can be deep-seated and long-lasting. Children in these households often feel abandoned and unimportant, and their self-esteem will be the first to suffer. This isolation can result in anxiety, depression, or even behavioral issues, as they may act out in a desperate attempt to gain whatever attention they can, as 2022 research from Cureus suggests.
A version of this post also appears on Forbes.com.