Why does a hospice doctor with a passion for personal finance write about purpose? This is a question I hear often. It might seem like an unusual combination, but the reason I write and talk about purpose is rooted in the profound lessons I’ve learned from my hospice patients. These are people who are actively dying, yet they’ve taught me some of the most valuable lessons about life—and money.
One of the biggest takeaways I’ve learned is this: We should put purpose first and build our financial framework around it. This insight was at the heart of my book, Taking Stock, and when I went out to share this message with audiences big and small, something unexpected happened.
The Pushback on Purpose
After my talks, most people were inspired by the idea of putting purpose at the center of their lives. But, every once in a while, someone would come up to me, visibly frustrated—sometimes even angry.
They would say something like, “You keep telling me to find my purpose. I’ve been searching for my purpose forever, and I don’t know what it is. I don’t think I even have one. Please stop telling me to find my purpose!”
These encounters left me scratching my head. Why would something so universally celebrated—this idea of having a purpose—cause such frustration? Isn’t purpose supposed to be a good thing?
The Research: Purpose and Its Benefits
Curious to understand this better, I dove into the research, and what I found was fascinating.
A 2019 study published in JAMA Network Open showed that having a stronger sense of purpose is associated with decreased overall mortality and a lower risk of dying from heart, circulatory, and blood disorders.
Similarly, a 2021 study using data from the U.S. Health and Retirement Study found that people with a strong sense of purpose had a
- 24 percent lower likelihood of becoming physically inactive
- 33 percent lower likelihood of developing sleep problems
- 22 percent lower risk of being overweight
Finally, a study by Roback and Griffin involving 118 college students found a strong positive relationship between purpose in life and happiness. Students with a greater sense of purpose reported higher levels of happiness and lower levels of depression.
The message was clear: Having a sense of purpose contributes to health, happiness, and longevity.
The Dark Side: Purpose Anxiety
But here’s the paradox. Alongside these studies, I came across other research, like a study by Larissa Rainey, which found that up to 91 percent of people, at some point in their lives, experience what’s called “purpose anxiety.”
This term describes the anxiety, frustration, and even depression that people feel when they can’t figure out what their purpose is.
So here we are: On one hand, having purpose is linked to a longer, healthier, and happier life. On the other hand, the search for purpose can lead to stress, sadness, and a sense of inadequacy. How can purpose be both a solution and a problem?
The Two Types of Purpose
What I realized is that we, as a society, often get purpose wrong. We tend to think of purpose as one monolithic concept, but, in reality, it’s not. Purpose can be broken down into two distinct types:
- Big P Purpose: This is the kind of purpose most of us are taught to pursue. It’s big, audacious, and goal-oriented. It’s about achieving monumental things—starting a billion-dollar company, becoming a world leader, or changing the course of history. While these goals are inspiring, they’re also incredibly difficult to achieve. They often depend on factors outside of our control, like timing, resources, and sheer luck. Focusing solely on Big P Purpose can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of failure when the goals prove elusive.
- Little p Purpose: This is process-oriented purpose. It’s about finding joy and meaning in the day-to-day activities that light you up. It’s not tied to grand outcomes or external validation. Instead, it’s about doing work or engaging in activities that resonate with you personally—things that make you feel alive in the moment. Little p Purpose is abundant, accessible, and difficult to fail at.
The problem? Most of us focus exclusively on Big P Purpose and completely overlook Little p Purpose.
Why We Need to Shift Focus
When we fixate on Big P Purpose, we set ourselves up for frustration. These lofty goals can feel unattainable, and the pressure to achieve them can rob us of the joy in the journey.
In contrast, embracing Little p Purpose allows us to find meaning in the process. It’s about showing up every day and doing things that excite us, whether or not they lead to a major accomplishment. This type of purpose is sustainable, fulfilling, and less likely to cause anxiety.
The paradox of purpose is that it can be both a source of immense joy and a cause of deep frustration. The key to resolving this paradox lies in understanding the difference between Big P and Little p Purpose—and learning to prioritize the latter. Remember: Purpose isn’t just about achieving something monumental. It’s about finding meaning in the small, everyday moments that light you up.