The holiday season is often filled with joy and celebration, but for many, it can also bring a surge of financial stress. In fact, a recent survey commissioned by Beyond Finance revealed that 76 percent of Americans experience “money wounds” during the holidays, driven largely by financial pressures. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of holiday spending or struggling with how to manage your finances during this season, you’re not alone. Understanding and healing from money wounds is the first step in transforming this often stressful time into an opportunity for financial wellness and emotional healing.
Money Wounds and Their Impact
Money wounds are emotional and psychological scars shaped by the beliefs, behaviors, and feelings we’ve been conditioned to associate with money throughout our lives. These wounds can result from early family influences, cultural norms, or negative experiences tied to money, such as financial hardship, credit card debt, or spending-related shame.
During the holidays, these wounds often surface more intensely due to pressure to spend on gifts and “do the holidays right,” which can lead to overspending, heightened financial anxiety, and feelings of isolation. The key to healing from money wounds is recognizing that these feelings are common and that you don’t have to carry them alone. Shame thrives in isolation, and by acknowledging that money struggles are a shared experience, we can begin to dismantle the feelings of inadequacy that often accompany financial stress.
One of the most important steps in healing money wounds is understanding that your self-worth is not tied to your financial status. It’s easy to feel that if we don’t spend a certain amount on gifts or can’t afford the “perfect” holiday experience, we’re failing as friends, family members, or even as people. These thoughts can drive overspending and anxiety.
But it’s vital to recognize that our value isn’t measured by how much we spend or how we present ourselves during the holidays. By disconnecting our financial choices from our identity, we can move toward making decisions based on our true values. This process requires self-compassion and an open inquiry into the beliefs that shape our behavior.
How to Begin Healing Money Wounds
1. Reflect on Your Relationship With Money
Ask yourself: What is the purpose of money, especially during the holidays? Reflecting on the role money plays in your life can help you move from reactive, emotional spending to intentional, mindful choices. Try these questions to help you deconstruct your narrative around holiday spending:
- When did I first learn that spending money during the holidays was “right?”
- What family or cultural influences shape my spending decisions?
- What have been the positive and negative consequences of following these beliefs?
Exploring the roots of your money beliefs can help you recognize patterns and begin to make decisions more aligned with your values, rather than societal or familial expectations.
2. Develop a Financial Plan Before the Holiday Rush
The earlier you start planning for the holidays, the more control you’ll have over your finances. Setting a realistic budget, saving throughout the year, and sticking to a plan can significantly reduce the stress that typically builds as the holidays approach. It may also be helpful to have a “dopamine menu”—a list of activities that bring you joy, often used by those with ADHD to reduce decision-making stress. This could include hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or indulging in self-care practices. When you feel the urge to overspend or shop impulsively, try something on your list of joy-giving activities instead.
3. Practice Delayed Gratification
One way to reduce the pressure of impulse spending is by adopting a “cooling off” period. When you find an item you want to purchase, put it in your cart and give yourself a day or two to think about it. This brief delay often allows emotions to settle and clarity to set in. By resisting the urge to act immediately, you give yourself time to check if the purchase truly aligns with your values and financial goals.
4. Manage Emotional Triggers
Emotions such as anxiety, guilt, or sadness can trigger impulsive spending behaviors. Recognizing that spending money isn’t a solution to emotional distress is critical in healing money wounds. When you feel the urge to overspend, pause and ask yourself, What emotions am I trying to avoid? Identifying the emotional triggers behind your spending habits can help you address the root cause of the problem.
5. Embrace Connection, Not Isolation
During the holidays, loneliness and isolation can exacerbate financial stress. Forty-two percent of Americans practice self-isolation during the holidays to avoid feeling shame. However, being alone doesn’t have to mean feeling lonely. Connect with yourself through activities you enjoy, such as journaling or meditation. If you’re unable to be with family and friends, consider joining online communities, participating in virtual support groups, or volunteering.
Long-Term Financial Wellness Is Crucial
It’s important to remember that healing from money wounds isn’t a short-term fix. The pressures and emotions surrounding holiday finances don’t simply disappear after December is over. Building a long-term plan for financial wellness requires ongoing reflection, emotional management, and mindful spending choices throughout the year. Be kind to yourself and practice financial self-care, knowing that these habits will pay off in the months ahead.
The holiday season often brings financial stress, but by understanding and healing from money wounds, we can take control of our finances and approach the holidays with intention. Remember that you’re not alone in these struggles, and by challenging old beliefs, practicing mindful spending, and addressing the emotional triggers behind financial decisions, you can reduce stress and experience greater financial wellness while truly enjoying the holiday season.