The honeymoon phase, often referred to as the New Relationship Energy (NRE) phase, is an exciting period of a relationship. During this period, our physiology is working to create an attachment bond with our new partner — resulting in a mix of emotions that can feel both exhilarating and a little disorienting. We are flooded with neurotransmitters and hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin resulting in an intense desire to be emotionally and physically close and fantasize about a fairytale happily ever after.
Here are five significant mistakes to watch out for during the honeymoon phase:
- Believing Every Thought and Feeling as Truth: While the highs of this period can be euphoric, remember that emotions are fleeting. It’s crucial to recognize that feelings can shift, and thoughts are not necessarily truth.
- Assuming Current Feelings Are Permanent: The intensity of emotions during NRE can lead us to believe that our current feelings will last forever. However, the truth is that all relationships evolve, and this one will also change over time.
- Making Major Life Decisions Prematurely: The rush to make significant commitments, like moving in together, can be tempting. Instead, wait until NRE has settled and decide if this relationship has the important components you desire in a long-term relationship.
- Changing Your Identity to Mirror Your Partner’s: In the excitement of new love, it’s easy to lose sight of your individuality. Maintaining your identity while encouraging your partner’s is essential for a healthy, balanced relationship.
- Neglecting Other Relationships and Responsibilities: It can feel all-consuming to focus solely on a new partner, but it’s important to nurture friendships, work, and family connections. A supportive social network is crucial for well-being.
As the honeymoon phase typically spans six months to one year, recognizing when this period fades is important. You may notice a shift when the “rose-colored glasses” come off, revealing your partner as a beautifully imperfect human. At this juncture, you face a decision: Is this a person I want to build a future with, or was I swept away by the rush of romance?
Transitioning from the honeymoon phase into a deeper connection involves embracing the complexities of love, including the give and take of building a shared life. While it’s natural for the intensity of the honeymoon phase to diminish, keeping the spark alive is achievable by continuing to show up and engage like you did during the honeymoon phase.
- Give Your Partner Full, Present-Centered Attention: Focus on being truly present when you’re together. Quality connection fosters intimacy.
- Highlight Your Partner’s Unique Qualities: Regularly express what makes your partner special and how much you appreciate those traits.
- Cultivate Excitement: Foster a sense of anticipation about spending time together. Actively expressing your enthusiasm can enhance your bond.
- Protect Time for Dates and Intimacy: Just as you carved out time to connect in the beginning, ensure you continue to prioritize dates and intimate moments.
Practicing mindfulness during and after the honeymoon phase can be particularly beneficial. Mindfulness helps you savor the present while also allowing you to reflect on your values and commitments. Deepening your relationship requires awareness and intentionality.
Each phase of love offers a unique experience that can contribute to a meaningful relationship story. By approaching the honeymoon phase with awareness and care, you set a strong foundation for a lasting, fulfilling relationship, if that is the path you choose.